I felt very sad.
I felt that.
That happened.
That has passed.
Being questioned can hurt. Being told you are wrong can hurt. Sometimes it stays longer than it should. Sometimes it sharpens you instead. I focus on that part. I know who I am. I know my weaknesses. I know what I did wrong. I know what can be fixed.
There is a side of me that feels misunderstood. As if my openness sounds worse than it is. As if I am being judged for speaking the way I speak. I know this is only how it feels. It is not the whole truth. It is not the facts.
I want to explain better sometimes. To correct the shape of things. But I can usually sense when people only want to be right. I don’t need to compete with that, in myself or in others. So, I tell myself, again: It happened. I know my truth. It has passed.
Today exists.
Today, our helper went back to her nieces. In the morning, we sent her off. Later, Hannah and I went to a baking class. She made a chocolate decoration with Ummi written on it, and a small love icon beside it. I was very happy. She asked if I wanted the chocolate. I told her to give me just the Um part. She could have the rest.
She stood almost as tall as the teacher. The other children were mostly half her size.
Amer met his friend from Indonesia today. It was their first time meeting face to face. They have been online friends. His family is here on a trip, maybe a vacation. Hakam said his friend is a nice boy. I was glad to hear that.
When everyone came home, we talked for a while. The children were tired. They slept, or decompressed with their gadgets.
I worked.
I’m transcribing thirteen interviews. Only using Microsoft Clipchamp. I don’t listen to every word. The process still takes time. The laptop struggles. The internet hesitates. The AI waits. While things render, I type this.
Leave a Reply