Friends and family that know my minimalism journey always ask me.

“A’ishah, how do you know when to stop de cluttering OR how minimum is finally minimal and ideal? Is it living with only 100 items? Is it living on a backpack? Does it means you can’t own a car, a house and kids?”

Oh boy..

Owning less things is only the result of minimalism but what minimalism really is – the key – is knowing and consistently evaluating our priorities so we can strip away the excess stuff.

Yes, there are guidances of how many things you should need in order for you to live functionally or practically but everyone’s priorities are different. What is necessary and what is considered excess are also different.

It’s fun to know (read blog and watch Youtube) on how people live with their minimum stuff. How many shoes and clothes they have. What are the furnitures they live with. What are the thing they can live without. That can be your inspiration. Also, it goods to know that you’re not alone in this journey.

However, after all, you just need to ask yourself about You. If you are pressured to follow certain minimalist on how they live their life, I guess it beats the purpose of minimalism itself.

For example, a minimalist painter might need 48 colors of acrylic paint while for us who don’t paint at all, why do we keep at home even one color?

I need shawl, 5 or 6 because I wear hijab on daily basis. A boy who only wear scarf during his winter travel once every three years might not need it as much as I do.

So, is minimalism extreme and radical? The answer is NO.

This is a broad subject to be discussed, but today I want to share what I keep at home for the kids.

A box of toys

Most of them are from Happy Meals. Also, a nerf gun, little ponies and Lego. We haven’t bought any toys for the longest time (except Happy Meals which are free) It was hard at first because I was used to always give my kids what they want. Now, whenever we go to the groceries or supermarket, I will let them buy one item each with a capped price (to still give them the freedom of choice to shop) and luckily it’s always ice-cream, yogurt, lollipops or soda.

Art supply

H loves art so much. So, we have glue and scissors, art block, color pencils, crayons and watercolor which we take out to use almost every day.

Clothing

I never count their clothes but basically, both of them have double of what I have. I believe that they are still minimal because A will have no pants at the end of the week if I don’t do any laundry in between. A & H only have one pair of footwear each at my place. They have more when they are with their father.

Books and workbooks

I’m still in the process of de-cluttering these so we still have many books on the shelves. I realize that we actually don’t need so much. Earlier this month, I pick two workbooks for each of them and decided to only focus on that books, I hide all the other workbooks. The result is better, we are more consistent to do the workbooks together than when we think we have more choices and resources.

Gadgets

We don’t have TV at home. The kids have one hand phone each where they watch Youtube, listen to songs and play Minecraft and other games (A also plays Fortnite, Mobile Legend, and Roblox). H loves to use her phone to take pictures. The phones are always their babysitter when the situation is out of my control – and this is not a confession.

Perhaps I am was an anxious person. Feeling easily overwhelmed. Feeling like there were too many things I need to take care of – work, kids, parents, friends, chores, my health. My dream.

It’s a sick cycle and the same routine everyday, of things to do, places to go and people to meet. Me feeling sick about them already tells that, not all of them sparks joy to me. And so, why do I keep doing them?

How about you?

Do you have so many things in your life? What’s the first thing to flash when you jump out of bed everyday? Are you excited for the day, or do you just grab your phone to scroll down social media for half an hour and already feel better to continue your day – your fast life as it is.

The fast life is all around us – fast food, fast cars, fast conversations, fast families, fast holidays. We may be living great lives but we aren’t ‘there’ for them. We don’t take the time to linger over food, over friends, over our family etc. We are not savouring our life and are starving of the real connection to our life. (Slow Movement)

So ask yourself, do I have the time to be present and feel every moment and effort to live, every day?

Slow living

Slow living is a lifestyle with mindful approach. To feel life and its meaning. To be grateful and happy about life and everything it has to offer.

Depending on your current lifestyle, there must be some factors that anchor your time i.e. your attitude, commitments and planning method – maybe you have too many goals to achieve in a day and not all of them are equally important to you. Maybe, you’re just overloading yourself with unnecessary things.

Understand your current fast life pattern

As for me, I’ve noticed that my time is faster due to my relationship with my phone – I lose real connection with my surroundings, my family and friends. It sounds silly that a 30-year-old grown-up woman like me is overly attached with her phone but it’s true. So, I start to unplug it more around the things that matter to me. In the morning, with my kids, with my loved one, and in the train ride home. I notice that I have better relationships with those I’m willing to switch my phone off for. A better and real connection.

Being too obsessed over productivity also stripped my life away. The perfectionism. I wanted to publish a blog post daily, write in my journal, and craft more poetry. I struggled to keep my house clean all the time while trying to home school my kids and prepare a homecook meal that they love every night. I wanted to be better at the office and keep all my friends loving me. I wanted to be the smartest, prettiest, and healthiest ugh. A’ishah baby, you can’t have them all.

The Four Burners Theory says that, in order to be successful you have to cut off one of your burners. And in order to be really successful you have to cut off two. (James Clear)

In the end, it’s just common sense. An Instagram post or a Youtube video of a celebrity who doesn’t know me cannot be more important than my kids. My friends’ tweets cannot be more important than the blog post I need to finish. A random story book cannot be important than mouths to feed in this house, I better cook. Sometimes, a blog post cannot be important than enough sleep.

Know your priority

I know you already know your priorities (A’ishah, seriously?) But we easily lose focus.

It would be contradicted if I ask you to cut down on productivity to slow down your life and do less. It’s not that. It’s about knowing your priorities and live according to them. It’s about walking the talk and focusing over fewer but meaningful things.

Always question yourself. For example, if you say your family is important, why do you spend more time with writing (and work) to be left with less (and fast) time to spend with your family. And if you say your health is important, why do you watch Netflix and not go exercising, just to be worried about your health all the time.

It’s actually quite simple theoretically. Don’t do things you don’t want to do and go do things that you really want. Focus and stay present. Unplug. Live in the moment. Enjoy your life. Live slowly.

Let’s be slow.

In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. (Abraham Lincoln)