Letting Go, Costs

We always imagine letting go as an easy task.

Releasing grip, which requires less energy.

Throwing, donating, selling stuff.

Forgetting. Forgiving. Moving on.

When indeed, letting go is hard. That’s why moving on from a break up is painful. When you think about it, why are we so sad to let go of a relationship that’s no longer work?

Unless if you’ve already experienced and survived through it, it’s not as simple.

I recently got my house painted, the doors fixed, and few electrical sockets, light bulbs and a ceiling fan in one the rooms repaired. It was an act of acquiring since I had to pay for it, but while it happened, it felt like letting go.

It’s letting go of doors that were holed and broken because I once hit my head and a hammer on them, of anger, sadness and frustration. The doors were an identity of myself, I had been living with them throughout my darkest year and a few years after while I was healing. They were the reason I hardly invite people over and show around my living space.

Getting them fixed got me emotional. It felt like removing scars with acid.

My point is that many people describe letting go and decluttering as something that should be natural. We think as we no longer need stuff, so we get rid of them.

For things that are ugly and useless, they are easy. For things that are meaningful but no longer useful, they’re gonna be harder.

For things that are ugly, useless and hold the stories of suffering, it’s the hardest, like my doors.

But the harder it is to let go, the further it liberates. Letting go, costs. Freedom costs. But it’s worth it.