Perhaps I was an anxious person. Feeling easily overwhelmed, like there were too many things I needed to take care of – work, kids, parents, friends, chores, my health, and my dreams. It’s a sick cycle and the same routine every day, of things to do, places to go, and people to meet. Feeling sick about them already tells me that not all of them spark joy. So, why do I keep doing them?
The Fast Life
How about you? Do you have too many things in your life? What’s the first thing that flashes through your mind when you jump out of bed every day? Are you excited for the day, or do you just grab your phone to scroll through social media for half an hour, feeling better enough to continue your day – your fast life as it is?
The fast life is all around us – fast food, fast cars, fast conversations, fast families, and fast holidays. We may be living great lives, but we aren’t truly ‘there’ for them. We don’t take the time to linger over food, over friends, over our family, etc. We are not savouring our life and are starving for real connections.
Understanding Slow Living
Slow living is a lifestyle with a mindful approach. It’s about feeling life and its meaning, being grateful and happy about life and everything it has to offer. Depending on your current lifestyle, there must be some factors that anchor your time, such as your attitude, commitments, and planning method. Maybe you have too many goals to achieve in a day, and not all of them are equally important to you. Perhaps you’re just overloading yourself with unnecessary things.
Recognising Your Fast Life Patterns
As for me, I’ve noticed that my time seems faster due to my relationship with my phone – I lose real connection with my surroundings, my family, and friends. It sounds silly that a 30-year-old woman like me is overly attached to her phone, but it’s true. So, I started to unplug it more around the things that matter to me. In the morning, with my kids, with my loved ones, and on the train ride home. I noticed that I have better relationships with those I’m willing to switch my phone off for, fostering a better and real connection.
Being too obsessed over productivity also stripped my life away. The perfectionism. I wanted to publish a blog post daily, write in my journal, and craft more poetry. I struggled to keep my house clean all the time while trying to home-school my kids and prepare a home-cooked meal that they love every night. I wanted to be better at the office and keep all my friends loving me. I wanted to be the smartest, prettiest, and healthiest. Ugh. A’ishah, baby, you can’t have them all.
The Four Burners Theory
The Four Burners Theory suggests that to be successful, you have to cut off one of your burners. And to be really successful, you have to cut off two. In the end, it’s just common sense. An Instagram post or a YouTube video of a celebrity who doesn’t know me cannot be more important than my kids. My friends’ tweets cannot be more important than the blog post I need to finish. A random storybook cannot be more important than mouths to feed in this house; I better cook. Sometimes, a blog post cannot be more important than enough sleep.
Knowing Your Priorities
I know you already know your priorities (A’ishah, seriously?). But we easily lose focus. It would be contradictory if I asked you to cut down on productivity to slow down your life and do less. It’s not about doing less; it’s about knowing your priorities and living according to them. It’s about walking the talk and focusing on fewer but more meaningful things.
Always question yourself. For example, if you say your family is important, why do you spend more time writing (and working) and end up with less (and rushed) time to spend with your family? And if you say your health is important, why do you watch Netflix instead of exercising, only to worry about your health all the time?
It’s actually quite simple theoretically. Don’t do things you don’t want to do and go do things that you really want. Focus and stay present. Unplug. Live in the moment. Enjoy your life. Live slowly.
In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
Ilhan Mansiz
20 March 2018 at 10:26 pmI love this. The sad part is being overly attached to phone is the new normal. People does it everywhere even when hanging out with their friends. Keep on writing!
abdusfauzi
11 April 2018 at 12:22 pmAgree. I have been trying my best to keep phone and laptop away once I’m home. But, occasionally, work message came in, wrote some reply and then stuck to the screen. It is the nature of doing internet business, but we got to have some limit. Family and health must come first.
inchenaim
24 April 2018 at 6:27 pmCan’t agree more
Living in the moment allowed us to appreciate those moments fully, creating rich memories. Sometimes we have to learn how to slow down and really enjoy life