I woke up this morning and feel the excitement to talk, or rather to sort my thoughts about… well, probably just some useless matter of discussion to you.
If I am to share the biggest mistake I’ve made while I was gone, it is self-pity.
Now that I’ve snapped out of that, though not entirely – I think in a hard situation, it is very important to lift our perspective and see our own being from above, with self-love.
Self-pity (the opposite of self love, sort of) is self-absorbed unhappiness over life’s hardship.
I found this article over the net,
and I think I had some of the signs like, thinking that I’m not worthy of love, having low self-esteem, a strong fighting instinct, and melancholic temperament and subconsciously feeling guilty (self-blame).
Life is always hard, problems come and go – nothing comes easy. We can’t really move an inch if we are being too carried away with unnecessary feelings. My life was a mess. It was upside down in a way I had never imagined and the first instinctual feeling that triggered was sadness, then anger. Of course, they are just feelings that sometimes (or most of the time) can’t be controlled but being too absorbed over them doesn’t bring anything good either. It was hard to be positive and productive, and that added up to the problems I already have
I’ve lost passion in many things.
I think somewhere somehow during that moment, I’ve lost faith.
I’ve lost the stands I’m holding on to.
I’ve already lost confidence and then I constantly got these hormonal pimples on my skin, and I hated them.
I started to count wrinkles I never noticed before.
I know I’m already skinny but I didn’t eat for days so I would look lovely.
I hate every single line of marks on my body.
I’ve avoided family and friends, and I miss them very badly now. I did see and talk to few – faking strength and smiles. Those who really know me, THEY. KNOW.
Ah, listing down what have changed disgusts me.
I wanna be in control of my life now and stop dwelling in the past.
Love yourself because love lifts..