A'ishah Kamaludin

Perhaps I am was an anxious person. Feeling easily overwhelmed. Feeling like there were too many things I need to take care of – work, kids, parents, friends, chores, my health. My dream.

It’s a sick cycle and the same routine everyday, of things to do, places to go and people to meet. Me feeling sick about them already tells that, not all of them sparks joy to me. And so, why do I keep doing them?

How about you?

Do you have so many things in your life? What’s the first thing to flash when you jump out of bed everyday? Are you excited for the day, or do you just grab your phone to scroll down social media for half an hour and already feel better to continue your day – your fast life as it is.

The fast life is all around us – fast food, fast cars, fast conversations, fast families, fast holidays. We may be living great lives but we aren’t ‘there’ for them. We don’t take the time to linger over food, over friends, over our family etc. We are not savouring our life and are starving of the real connection to our life. (Slow Movement)

So ask yourself, do I have the time to be present and feel every moment and effort to live, every day?

Slow living

Slow living is a lifestyle with mindful approach. To feel life and its meaning. To be grateful and happy about life and everything it has to offer.

Depending on your current lifestyle, there must be some factors that anchor your time i.e. your attitude, commitments and planning method – maybe you have too many goals to achieve in a day and not all of them are equally important to you. Maybe, you’re just overloading yourself with unnecessary things.

Understand your current fast life pattern

As for me, I’ve noticed that my time is faster due to my relationship with my phone – I lose real connection with my surroundings, my family and friends. It sounds silly that a 30-year-old grown-up woman like me is overly attached with her phone but it’s true. So, I start to unplug it more around the things that matter to me. In the morning, with my kids, with my loved one, and in the train ride home. I notice that I have better relationships with those I’m willing to switch my phone off for. A better and real connection.

Being too obsessed over productivity also stripped my life away. The perfectionism. I wanted to publish a blog post daily, write in my journal, and craft more poetry. I struggled to keep my house clean all the time while trying to home school my kids and prepare a homecook meal that they love every night. I wanted to be better at the office and keep all my friends loving me. I wanted to be the smartest, prettiest, and healthiest ugh. A’ishah baby, you can’t have them all.

The Four Burners Theory says that, in order to be successful you have to cut off one of your burners. And in order to be really successful you have to cut off two. (James Clear)

In the end, it’s just common sense. An Instagram post or a Youtube video of a celebrity who doesn’t know me cannot be more important than my kids. My friends’ tweets cannot be more important than the blog post I need to finish. A random story book cannot be important than mouths to feed in this house, I better cook. Sometimes, a blog post cannot be important than enough sleep.

Know your priority

I know you already know your priorities (A’ishah, seriously?) But we easily lose focus.

It would be contradicted if I ask you to cut down on productivity to slow down your life and do less. It’s not that. It’s about knowing your priorities and live according to them. It’s about walking the talk and focusing over fewer but meaningful things.

Always question yourself. For example, if you say your family is important, why do you spend more time with writing (and work) to be left with less (and fast) time to spend with your family. And if you say your health is important, why do you watch Netflix and not go exercising, just to be worried about your health all the time.

It’s actually quite simple theoretically. Don’t do things you don’t want to do and go do things that you really want. Focus and stay present. Unplug. Live in the moment. Enjoy your life. Live slowly.

Let’s be slow.

In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. (Abraham Lincoln)

The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less. (Socrates)

Going on board the minimalism journey, I was very afraid at first.

Afraid that I will settle with lower standards – afraid that contentment will become a comfort zone for me to achieve more – afraid that I’ll look extreme about it and become so alone because my lifestyle is a bit different from others.

It got me thinking, am I just lazy ‘to want’ because I hate to think about the effort required. Can I survive with less material possessions? Will I look ugly and poor?

It turns out, everything that I feared becomes the very opposite. Minimalism was not the horror story as I thought it might be. Once I started to own less, I started to become myself.

It’s so liberating that I no longer care about what other people think about me and my possessions.

That, is a very valuable possession on its own.

In this post, I will share on how minimalism has impacted my life and can benefit yours too.

Discover our unique self

Eccentricity is when everything about us is not associated with a certain brand, style or group – from the things that we wear up to the way we think.

I love to use clothings as an example because everyone can relate to this (unless you’re a nudist).

We think that we have no clothes to wear, almost as if we are hopelessly unfashionable, even though we have a wardrobe full of up-to-date fashion.

So we keep hunting for the latest trend, and we take them home feeling hopeful and excited.

The result? They are nice to see, nice to hold but always end up making us ridiculous.

Whatever we have acquired throughout our life, most of them are the result of what the media tell us we should own.

It’s hard to realize that our own sense of fashion lies on the same few pieces that we keep repeating over the week. When I downsized my wardrobe to the last few items that I really love, my personal style starts to show itself. I found my personal unique style!

Whatever I have now are not just after the trend or the friends.

And it’s so awesome whenever I follow my friends to go shopping, have quite a lot of money in my wallet and still being able to say, “No, I don’t need that. I’m good” – to the temptation.

In a way, this lifestyle also helps me to say no. It’s something I’m struggling with for a long time.

Minimalism makes us more focus on our inner unique self – to who we really are and what we really want.

Be confident

Once I found my own style, I feel me wearing the same pants and tops whenever I go out with my friends. I am happy with whatever I have and feel pretty wearing them. I still celebrate the style diversity and enjoy to appreciate other people’s sense of fashion but hardly tempted to copy them.

The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are. (Goldie Hawn)

It’s counter-intuitive, but I started to feel more confident when I have less clothing and stop wanting more.

Create space for the important things

Whether you realize it or not, owning stuff can be exhausting sometimes. The time needed for the research and reading reviews. The time needed to go buy and get it. The time needed to care for it. The money needed to purchase it. The storage needed to keep it. The emotional investment over it. And as I said before, there will always be consequences for every items that you bring into your life.

It’s time, space, money and energy altogether for things that will become the clutter in your house one day. Once it becomes the clutter, you need to add the time needed to clean and get rid of it.

Imagine when you have more time, space, money and energy because you no longer use them to acquire and manage your stuff? Getting rid of clutter and stop buying things create space for the more important things in your life.

And

The meaningful things in our life often are not ‘things’

Quality over quantity

One of the biggest fear towards minimalism is – that it will downgrade our life.

For me,  this is just a myth. In fact, it is actually the total opposite. Minimalism increases the consciousness about what we bring into our life – quality over quantity.

I don’t have two or three of the same things just because this one is lack of something and the other is lack of another thing. The one thing that stick and is the best instead of too many just-OK things that I keep piling up.

After all, it is the opposite from the fear and stigma – minimalism helps me to discover my unique self, boost my confident, and create space for the meaningful endeavors. It doesn’t downgrade my life. On the contrary, it promotes quality in it.

I’m very grateful to discover and embrace minimalism – I never thought all my life that owning less things makes my life richer, better and happier. Maybe, you should join me too!

So you write well and want to be a writer?

How to be a writer

You want to be a writer but still asking yourself whether or not should you be one. Stop it.

1. Admit, accept, declare

The first step to becoming a writer is – to admit passionately that you are a writer. Embrace your passion and tell your closest family and friends. Tell everyone if you like. Believe in yourself and your message – your voice needs to be heard and the writing needs to be done. Accepting that you’re a writer will motivate you to write more and better.

2. No TV

This might be random but secondly, throw away your TV.

If you’re just starting out as a writer, your television should be the first thing to go. It’s “poisonous to creativity,” (Stephen King)

Also disconnect yourself with any potential distractions i.e internet, your phone or a friend (#imsorry) and Netflix.

3. Focus

Don’t try to write about everything, at least not at the same time. Have a focus. Know your niche and your style. Write a topic or a chapter and write about it as much as possible for a set period of time.

This also applies to the long term focus. Limit yourself to write for just a couple area of expertise. It’s an easier way to get recognized. Your readers will know they can rely on you for that specific knowledge.

4. Write everyday

Write when the ideas are flowing. Write even more when there’s nothing to write. This post is written because I’ve lost my momentum since last weekends and didn’t write for over a week.

So I just, write. (actually not knowing where I was going at first)

5. Write for yourself

Write to give value to people and to inspire others but more importantly, write for yourself.

Like this post of mine, it’s written for me who didn’t write anything for a week and it’s for all of you who are just like me, people who lose their writing voices. It’s for us who are not sure whether or not to be a writer.

Having that thoughts, whether you’re good enough to even write like a war inside your head already says that you’re one of us. Keep writing and believe you can write and that you’re really (and already) a writer.