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A'ishah K. Posts


The other day it happened at least a dozen times. In the last four years I have gone through two VCR/DVD players, three phones, two microwaves, numerous lamps, and now my car is reacting to this. Source

This is relatable. Finally someone says that it’s not bad spirit or some kind of poltergeist thingy.

Recently, many things around me start to fail (again), or at least, they love making problem in in-explainable trend.

My car, my laptop, my workstation at the office and handphone ventured at being funny to me, and it’s not the first time this phenomenon happen in my life.

Light bulbs explode many times in front of my eyes. My workstation at the office shut down itself as if it’s its hobby, or maybe just trying to make me rest. I crashes PETREL on weekly basis until it doesn’t bother me anymore (I just need to quit my job, right?)

Oh yes, I remember. Even the workstation when I was volunteering at the AOGC shut down itself and it was the only station being affected among other 12 and when the technicians came, they said it was a trip. Just right at my f-ing chair and table?

My car started to make problems. The bluetooth sometimes work, sometimes not. Water leaks on one day and the next day being fine, this is the most ridiculous among all. Sometimes overheating. It makes me question my decision of buying this car (I don’t wanna say regret, I f-ing loveee the baby). It was perfectly fine when I first got it. Is this coincidence?

To tell you the truth, this doesn’t worry me as much as my laptop is messing up with me right now. (Because I need to writee!) I’m typing this on my phone and thank you very much it’s in OK mood now.

The laptop went to the repair at the very first few months of its existence. Then twice. Maybe three times. And this one was f-ing brand new when I got it. Now the keyboard has feeling. Sometimes, I can’t press certain keys. It doesn’t come out. The M. The I.

F.I.C.K fish!

I don’t wanna dig more about this as how much I’ve read on lucid dreaming before. Is this just my mindset that I’m supposed to have all the weird things people have no idea about?

And if so, or not. Am I a slider?

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I had Iftar with my classmates from high school today. The food at Baba Nyonya in Avenue K was nice, or perhaps I was just hungry. Fasting duhh.

Reminiscing the old time like all school reunions always do, one of them share a story, something about me that I’ve already forgotten.

She said that, I once wrote a poem entitled, ‘Kertas

Kertas what?!

and so when she told us about it, she even remembered some details, maybe it was funny to her hahah. It is funny to me now that I can recall it.

Something like,

ada saiz A3
ada saiz A4


Kertas itu
Bisa melukakan hati

Oh gosh, did I write that? *Cringed.

She said that I recited the poem in front of everyone when I was in Form 3 or Form 4 – the 15 or 16 year old A’ishah if I would like to visualise it. I just can’t imagine how bad have I embarrassed myself back then.

But it gets to me that, this 15 year old A’ishah was more fearless at being herself and didn’t care what other people think about her, more than how she could afford to do now.

And it also makes me realised that maybe poetry, really is my passion. I’ve written many poems during high school but I didn’t really appreciate them, I’ve lost them all. Back then, I was just expressing myself, playing with words #beingjiwang and mostly kept them in my journals. I still love doing it for myself despite knowing it does make me look weird and less relatable to the rest of my peer.

For open scenes other than reciting Kertas in front of the cooler kids, I remember myself writing poems for the school magazine and especially for the National Day celebration, almost every year without fail. Weirdo kid on the stage reciting something that she wrote by herself on patriotism, with full force of emotion.

I was such a freak. I guess, I still am.

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Understanding addictive behaviour

I couldn’t sleep so I went to watch Ted Talk, just to feel smart. And so that I didn’t waste my late night for House of Cards. I don’t know what that is to be honest, but I heard GaryVee mentioned about it many times, it gets stuck in my head.

“Don’t complain you don’t have enough time, if what you’re doing all night and all weekends is watching the f-ing House of Cards, and playing games for three hours”

Hahah. Whatevs.

So. Ted Talk.
I was trying to understand why are we addicted to certain things and not the other. In my case: a human, it’s easier if I become addicted to water and healthy food, right?

I come to watch this,

How to Make a Behavior Addictive: Zoë Chance at TEDxMillRiver

In this video, the speaker, Zoe Chance said that,

In order for a behavior to be addictive, it has to fulfill at least 3 of the 6 human needs (as described by Tony Robbins)

1. Certainty
It’s when we understand how things work. For example, when we know if we do certain thing, we will get certain result. And when we do it and then we really get it, that’s when the thing starts to become addictive.

2. Uncertainty
To balance the certainty, the element of variety and surprise is another thing that makes us addicted. That’s why people take risk and try new things. Or else, it will get boring.

3. Significance
The need to have a meaning. To be good at something. To be special and wanted. We want to be qualified at something and for others to look up to us on that. 

4. Connection
Without connection, life is lonely. The need for connection is the need for approval, attachment and validation by other human being. Significance is the inner factor – our strength from within, while connection is the outer factor i.e family, friends and community.

5. Growth
The need for constant emotional, intellectual and spiritual development. It’s a need for self actualisation. We want to be better at the one thing we are significant at. Growth is also improving ourself to find more things that makes us significant. To be more than who we are.

6. Contribution
This is the married elements of growth and connection. The need to give, care, protect and serves others from what we are good at. To be able to contribute and give value to others is a very rewarding feeling.

Zoe shared the story of her own experience being addicted to a pedometer, and how it made her count her steps like a freak, until she broke her neck. Then, she brought the audience to relate the pedometer story with all the 6 human needs. She also explained by relating the theory with flashmob from the time when it wasn’t so famous until it becomes so viral and trendy.

Despite my search to understand how we could stop an addiction, Zoe closed her speech by encouraging people to establish good habits by using this framework – looking from the perspective on how a habit could fulfill the human needs and make life more rewarding and satisfying. Positive thinker. Mazel tov, and gosh I should read the title properly before spending time on it (17 minutes video + half hour to compose this write-up, with some copy paste of course)

Well anyway all in all, I think it makes sense. Totally.

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