Today marks one year of me returning to work after taking a long unpaid leave. The leave was one of the best decisions I ever took in my life. It gave me solitude, time to spend with my kids, and time to learn more about myself.
My mental health improved exponentially during that period, and I’ve gained experiences and wisdom through it. This is what I wrote on the last day of my leave:-
I’m so nervous for tomorrow as if it’s my first day of work, ever.I just want to document my feelings today.
- I don’t know what am I doing with my life.
- It’s hard to be an adult.
- I’m grateful to have my children with me until today. A & H.
- I’m grateful to be alive, wise (and not crazy), healthy and pretty. I’m grateful to have things to eat, a shelter that I love to be in, a good car that takes me to many many places, surrounded by people who love me and care for me, and surrounded by good people who always remind me of Allah SWT.
- I’m grateful to still able to do things that I love like writing and watching Youtube (that’s quite funny to be written here)
- I’m grateful to enjoy the creative process like it’s my fuel, always.
- I’m grateful for the experience of this extended leave – to be able to rest (now goodbye to enough and luxurious sleep), to spend more time with my kids, write, do hijab modelling, speak to people about minimalism, meet new people, and use more time and energy for Tarbiyyah. I’m grateful for the experience of super slow living, I’m gonna miss this so much.
.. as far as I love to think that my life is a struggle, I’m pretty much on the smoother road compare to many people. All the best tomorrow, A’ishah.It’s not a big deal. It’s not a big deal. Everyone goes to the office every day. Hahah.