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Kertas

I had Iftar with my classmates from high school today. The food at Baba Nyonya in Avenue K was nice, or perhaps I was just hungry. Fasting duhh.

Reminiscing the old time like all school reunions always do, one of them share a story, something about me that I’ve already forgotten.

She said that, I once wrote a poem entitled, ‘Kertas

Kertas what?!

and so when she told us about it, she even remembered some details, maybe it was funny to her hahah. It is funny to me now that I can recall it.

Something like,

Kertas,
ada saiz A3
ada saiz A4

(err..)

Kertas itu
Tajam
Bisa melukakan hati

Oh gosh, did I write that? *Cringed.

She said that I recited the poem in front of everyone when I was in Form 3 or Form 4 – the 15 or 16 year old A’ishah if I would like to visualise it. I just can’t imagine how bad have I embarrassed myself back then.

But it gets to me that, this 15 year old A’ishah was more fearless at being herself and didn’t care what other people think about her, more than how she could afford to do now.

And it also makes me realised that maybe poetry, really is my passion. I’ve written many poems during high school but I didn’t really appreciate them, I’ve lost them all. Back then, I was just expressing myself, playing with words #beingjiwang and mostly kept them in my journals. I still love doing it for myself despite knowing it does make me look weird and less relatable to the rest of my peer.

For open scenes other than reciting Kertas in front of the cooler kids, I remember myself writing poems for the school magazine and especially for the National Day celebration, almost every year without fail. Weirdo kid on the stage reciting something that she wrote by herself on patriotism, with full force of emotion.

I was such a freak. I guess, I still am.

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