Last day of long leave

I’m so nervous for tomorrow as if it’s my first day of work, ever.

I just want to document my feelings today.

  1. I don’t know what am I doing with my life.
  2. It’s hard to be an adult.
  3. I’m grateful to have my children with me until today. A & H.
  4. I’m grateful to be alive, wise and not crazy, healthy and pretty, have things to eat, a shelter that I love to be in, a good car that take me to many many places, surrounded by people who love me and care for me, surrounded by good people who always remind me of Allah SWT.
  5. I’m grateful to still be able to do things that I love like writing, and watching Youtube (that’s quite funny to be written here)
  6. I’m grateful to always love the creative process like it’s my fuel.
  7. I’m grateful for the experience of this long leave – to be able to rest (now goodbye to enough and luxurious sleep), spend more time with my kids, write, do hijab modelling, speak to people about minimalism, meet new people, use more time and energy for tarbiyyah. I’m grateful for the experience of super slow living, I’m gonna miss this so much.

.. as far as I love to think that my life is a struggle, I’m pretty much on the easier road compare to many people. All the best tomorrow, A’ishah.

It’s not a big deal. It’s not a big deal. Everyone goes to office every day. Hahah.

Going to buy office wear NOT

Hi again (after so long).

I’ll be back to the office after my six months leave, this Thursday.. OMG.

As expected, I’m not so excited about it because I was actually planning to either extend my leave or resign my job. My problem is I don’t have enough money to survive now. So yeah, I need the job. Please pray that they won’t fire me upon my arrival.

My saving is at its last dollars and my earning from writing and hijab modeling cannot really help with that. Ugh, I have to admit that I don’t work hard enough for my writing career, and modeling for a rookie and awkward like me? Doesn’t pay much. I’m really happy that I progress a lot with modeling but let’s be honest. I’m not famous, not fair nor Korean-like – umm yes that’s what they like. Also, I’m already 30 and that’s old fyi. So, modelling on the side now. (more…)

Summary of Things I Consumed This Week


I found an interesting video on TEDTalk about procrastinators. That’s what I do – procrastinating by watching videos about procrastination.

This one is different. I love how the speaker, Tim Urban explains what’s inside our mind in an easily understandable cute cartoon – the instant gratification monkey and the panic monster.

The playful monkey makes us choose instant gratification over hard work, while the monster takes care of us by making us panic and do the work. The monkey is afraid of the monster, because who isn’t afraid of a monster? The monster, however, will only come around dateline. No dateline, no monster.