Let’s Be Slow

Perhaps I am was an anxious person. Feeling easily overwhelmed. Feeling like there were too many things I need to take care of – work, kids, parents, friends, chores, my health. My dream.

It’s a sick cycle and the same routine everyday, of things to do, places to go and people to meet. Me feeling sick about them already tells that, not all of them sparks joy to me. And so, why do I keep doing them?

How about you?

Do you have so many things in your life? What’s the first thing to flash when you jump out of bed everyday? Are you excited for the day, or do you just grab your phone to scroll down social media for half an hour and already feel better to continue your day – your fast life as it is.

The fast life is all around us – fast food, fast cars, fast conversations, fast families, fast holidays. We may be living great lives but we aren’t ‘there’ for them. We don’t take the time to linger over food, over friends, over our family etc. We are not savouring our life and are starving of the real connection to our life. (Slow Movement)

So ask yourself, do I have the time to be present and feel every moment and effort to live, every day?

Slow living

Slow living is a lifestyle with mindful approach. To feel life and its meaning. To be grateful and happy about life and everything it has to offer.

Depending on your current lifestyle, there must be some factors that anchor your time i.e. your attitude, commitments and planning method – maybe you have too many goals to achieve in a day and not all of them are equally important to you. Maybe, you’re just overloading yourself with unnecessary things.

Understand your current fast life pattern

As for me, I’ve noticed that my time is faster due to my relationship with my phone – I lose real connection with my surroundings, my family and friends. It sounds silly that a 30-year-old grown-up woman like me is overly attached with her phone but it’s true. So, I start to unplug it more around the things that matter to me. In the morning, with my kids, with my loved one, and in the train ride home. I notice that I have better relationships with those I’m willing to switch my phone off for. A better and real connection.

Being too obsessed over productivity also stripped my life away. The perfectionism. I wanted to publish a blog post daily, write in my journal, and craft more poetry. I struggled to keep my house clean all the time while trying to home school my kids and prepare a homecook meal that they love every night. I wanted to be better at the office and keep all my friends loving me. I wanted to be the smartest, prettiest, and healthiest ugh. A’ishah baby, you can’t have them all.

The Four Burners Theory says that, in order to be successful you have to cut off one of your burners. And in order to be really successful you have to cut off two. (James Clear)

In the end, it’s just common sense. An Instagram post or a Youtube video of a celebrity who doesn’t know me cannot be more important than my kids. My friends’ tweets cannot be more important than the blog post I need to finish. A random story book cannot be important than mouths to feed in this house, I better cook. Sometimes, a blog post cannot be important than enough sleep.

Know your priority

I know you already know your priorities (A’ishah, seriously?) But we easily lose focus.

It would be contradicted if I ask you to cut down on productivity to slow down your life and do less. It’s not that. It’s about knowing your priorities and live according to them. It’s about walking the talk and focusing over fewer but meaningful things.

Always question yourself. For example, if you say your family is important, why do you spend more time with writing (and work) to be left with less (and fast) time to spend with your family. And if you say your health is important, why do you watch Netflix and not go exercising, just to be worried about your health all the time.

It’s actually quite simple theoretically. Don’t do things you don’t want to do and go do things that you really want. Focus and stay present. Unplug. Live in the moment. Enjoy your life. Live slowly.

Let’s be slow.

In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. (Abraham Lincoln)

Cure the Impulse with a Ban

Nasty impulses

Have you ever wished to buy something but end up not buying it because you didn’t have enough money, or because you had more important things to buys? Or…

Have you ever impulsively bought one thing that was not-so-important when in fact, you had no money allocated for it?

Do you have a to-buy-list or shopping list, just waiting to be materialized once you have allocation for them?

Now, try to imagine yourself having a more controlled shopping desire. You will feel less stress and not affected by things you don’t have. You will save time and money. You end up having more money than your shopping list items. Or best, you have more money and nothing to buy. Goddd, now tell me is that even possible?

Yes, it is.

Try a shopping ban!

I used to keep things in stashes. Abayas of the same design and color. Babywearing gears more than the number of my kids, ughh. I have too many journals and notebooks that I even made a special Youtube video for my collections, most of them still blank two years later. I had a room full of clothing, like braided rivers between mountains of the kids’ toys.

I was easily obsessed with stuff and collecting them – being totally opposite of who I am now.

How do I do that? Turning myself from a collector to someone who has fewer things than average people. More importantly, how do I become happier not shopping and having less stuff?

When I started to discover the minimalism cult on the internet, one of my favorite blogs was Cait Flanders’. It was exactly the same time last year when I declared my one-month shopping ban, thanks to her blog.

Starting a shopping ban doesn’t mean that you can’t spend a dime on anything. Of course, you need to put an exception to groceries and consumable i.e detergent and toothpaste. You can also loosen up the rules to things that need replacement. Apply the ‘one in, one out’ rule if you really need to replace your worn out shoes or your only jeans that don’t fit anymore.

I can tell you It was hard at first but later, you’ll be fine not buying anything for many months. You will learn to control yourself from the impulse buy – you’ll spend less and save more.

Check out Cait Flanders’ post to know how to do your first shopping ban, and once you do, let me know your progress.

p/s: It’s the right time of the year, trust me.

//Photo credit

My Story

This post is everything about me.

  1. A geophysicist, but feeling more like a writer and poet.
  2. Love poetry. Writing and reciting them since I was in high school. Performed twice in college.
  3. Love writing and journalling and always have a diary/journal with me. I am very much influenced by my mother. All my other siblings must have kept a diary too in any part of their lives.
  4. First created a blog when I was in university circa 2008. Blogging on and off but always ended up deleting my posts. I bought aishahkamaludin.com on May 2017. This will last, insyaAllah.
  5. Got married too early at 20 years old with my classmate. Married for 7 years before divorcing with two talented kids. My ex now, is a wonderful father to them.
  6. My divorce in early 2016 is a big turning point for me. I learned so many things to keep myself distracted from being depressed. Random things that I learn include photography, videography, social media marketing, writing, copywriting, storytelling and blogging. Then, I also learned basic makeup to get beautiful pictures on Instagram – I look 10 times prettier in pictures. In real life, I am just a beautiful soul.
  7. At that time, I also love to read on relationship topics such as unconditional love and extramarital affairs. I come to understand why we choose a difficult partner. You can count on me for quick relationship advice, no judgement ‘cos I’ve been worse.
  8. Being divorced affected my financial so much because I was so used to having a ‘support’. So, I learned how to manage my wallet and discovered minimalism. Never turning back since then.
  9. Reading and exploring online resources makes me obsessed with self-development. I’m a full-time learner now. I read everyday and very passionate to share what I’ve read with my friends and loved one.
  10. I created this blog because my boyfriend is already tired listening to me. Just kidding.

I love noodle soup.